Loneliness v Solitude
We love solitude, we hate loneliness. That is the critical difference between these two states that may appear from the outside to be the same. This is something we have thought a lot about at Huus, our pods are absolutely designed to facilitate and nurture solitude, solitude is very Huus; to consciously withdraw, to enjoy the feeling of being unobserved.
It is in this state of solitude that we believe great things are achieved. Research increasingly shows to importance of time to oneself, and with it the precious chance to be bored, to let ones mind wander over random or inconsequential things, is exactly where the creativity happens. When your relaxed brain plays with combining different memories, exploring old neural pathways and imagining possibilities.
On the other hand, loneliness is an ache, a hurting feeling when you need another creature to see, understand and accept you. Loneliness does not have to have anything to do with being alone. It is possible to feel more lonely with people then without, when the people we are with don’t really see us, when we exhaust ourselves trying to fit in, say the right thing, appear relaxed and happy, when inside we might be feeling very different.
This is the kind of loneliness that many people experience in this modern age, where it can be a rare and difficult thing to be physically alone. We consider ourselves to be constantly connected, always in touch, filmed, signed up, subscribed. We are part of many ‘communities’ online, we have hundreds or thousands of ‘followers’ and yet loneliness numbers continue to rise. So, what if loneliness is less to do with physically being alone, and much more to do with how well we truly relate to them? What if we could move to a more nuanced understanding of community, where we hold the importance of privacy and time to think alone as being as important as the team meeting and group brainstorm?
At Huus we believe making real connections with other people essentially starts with yourself. We see a world where many people don’t have time or space to understand themselves, their own ideas, their own opinions. We are encouraged to constantly ‘connect’ and ‘share’, but to have something real and personal to share one needs time alone to think. With time alone we can focus on developing ourselves, or healing ourselves, or leaning into a new hobby, once we are happier in ourselves we can better connect with other people when we actually are with them. We believe that time alone can help you relate better to others, leading to less time alone in the long run. It’s not the catchiest of concepts, it’s sort of counterintuitive, but here at Huus we focused on truth, not sound bites. We know some might look at our pods and think they are antisocial, or lonely looking, but we know that, for the right person, they are a doorway to healthier social interaction. For those who know the feeling of being lonely surrounded by people our pods are a chance to reconnect with ourselves, and in so doing increase our chances of meeting and making a true connection.
So this Loneliness Awareness Week I want to encourage you to sometimes try reframing your loneliness, to instead focus on revelling in your solitude, difficult as that may be. I don’t recommend this lightly, I know it is sometimes impossible. As a late diagnosed ASD woman I am deeply familiar with the feeling of loneliness, I often still feel painfully lonely, in the crowd or at home, excluded and misunderstood. For me, gaining a better understanding of myself was an absolutely critical pathway to deep and nourishing connections with others, and this knowledge goes into our Huus designs. So perhaps rather than a barrier, loneliness it is a signal. A sign to look inward and take the opportunity to focus on yourself, so that later, when the chance appears, you can make that connection.